studio

automatic writing: 30 minutes/ day (includes reflection on the written text)
dialogue time: 1 hour/ day
reading: > 1 hour/ day
"making hours": 1 hour 30 minutes/ day
walk: 1 hour/ day (also on Friday)
daily reflection: 15 minutes/ day

= 16 hours 45 minutes/ week

*october: "blind date" with codarts, also part of studio time

I will start my days with 30 minutes of automatic writing/ reflection, inspired by one of the classes in P3. The idea is to set a timer for about 25 minutes and to write anything. At the end, I will read and contemplate on what I have written down. This exercise is meant as a warm-up exercise for the day, since it doesn't require a lot of active creative thinking. The goals are (1) to get rid of any thoughts that aren't helping the process, (2) to get more comfortable writing and getting thoughts/ feelings on paper, (3) to help with creative blocks, as I might find lines of thought that I would like to keep working with. I don't know if I will share the results.

For the dialogue time, I decided to enter conversation with my grandmother. The 10 year anniversary of her death is nearing, which I am only now even beginning to process. Even after a decade, I wouldn't be too shocked if she were to walk into the room now. After she passed, most of her things where thrown out or donated. Among the things saved were her knitting needles and crochet hooks, and this makes me wonder if this had to do with me picking up these skills years later. As I grow older, I find that I am growing up to be more like her, in personality and role in the family. This dialogue is meant to recover what was lost and discover more about her and, in turn, myself.

There is not really a requirement for what kind of book to read, fiction or non-fiction, I will just look at the pile of unread books next to my bed and choose from those. The point is to discover multiple styles of writing and plots. A year and a half ago, I rediscovered my interest in writing, and to write I must read. Like the automatic writing exercise at the start of the day, this is also where I can find out new ideas to maybe work with someday.

This time is reserved for working on physical projects, which can be textiles, photography, texts, etc. I will start with continuing something I started during P2 last year, namely filet crochet. This is a specific, "vintage" style of crochet in which one works with a grid pattern. During P2 I made a small cloth with this technique, and I loved the mix of creativity and logical, mathematical thinking, so now my plan is to make a larger tapestry. The first few days/weeks I will probably be researching topics and designing the grid. The outcomes of filet crochet tapestries always feel quite religious to me, so I think it is interesting to consider this theme. This time may also be used for other projects, if they come up.

Each day I will go on a walk of at least an hour. This is something that has been part of my "practice" for a long time, so it is realistic to include in the studio time. During the walks, I listen to audiobooks and music, and let my thoughts wander. Sometimes I take pictures. Of course there is a big mental difference between letting one's thoughts stray while sitting behind a desk and while being on the go, but I haven't formulated in words exactly what this difference is. I hope to find out more during this term.

At the end of each day, I will reflect on how things went, whether some things need changing, what I got done during the day. This will be of help to me, because I tend to work, struggle, and then go about things the exact same way the next day. This way I will be more active in figuring out and improving my learning process and studio time.

class 25/9 (time wallet: 2 hours 45 minutes)

During this class everyone presented their initial plans for the term. Two ideas I was given during my presentation: (1) find items knitted by my grandmother and fix the ones that are torn. I really like this idea. If I can find such things in my aunt's and uncle's house, I will definitely ask, but I think I will leave my grandfather alone about this. (2) as part of the conversations with my grandmother, I can enter conversation with myself, considering that I have somewhat grown into her personality and role in the family. This is something I will definitely incorporate.

a source I like for these kinds of patterns is the Antique Pattern Library. I will probably be consulting this website a lot while designing the filet crochet grid, as they have a lot of nice examples.

The daily schedule isn't working for me. I cannot switch between activities like this and be creative at the same time, and it is quite demotivating to spend each day feeling like I have only wasted time. My solution to this issue is that the schedule at the beginning of this page should not to be taken literally anymore, but as a sort of symbol of the amount of time I will be spending on those activities overall.
Also, I will be continuing the automatic exercises, but my idea from now on is that this time can also be spent on any other type of writing activity. This is a choice I will make each day.

important reflections from the first few weeks

some thoughts and updates

a blind date project (14 - 25 oct)

The blind date project is a two-week collaboration between codarts dance/ composition and wdka. We (the students from both schools) got sorted into three groups, each one with 3 wdka students (I got sorted into a team with Alexandra and Roberto, also in this class). At the start of the two weeks, the three of us worked on the concept and then moved on to specifics. Personally, I worked on the costumes with Alexandra. I found it a bit difficult to incorporate my own work into the project, as I cannot really start anything without a lot of thinking and experimenting (things that I don't really have a way for of making visible to others). I "solved" this by not worrying too much about whether my concepts came through in the project, because the group was too big for that anyway. Instead, I just used my skills in textiles to make whatever was needed.
In the beginning, the collaboration felt a bit difficult, because the dancers had such a close bond that it was hard to really become a part of the group. As such, we worked mostly separately the first days. In the end we became somewhat more of a team, and I am proud of the work we made together.

The weeks before the blind date project, I have mostly been spending my studio time writing, reading, and going on long walks, as this is what was really benefitted my headspace. During this time I thought I would set the goal of not starting any multiple-day/-week knitting or crochet projects, as I was doing that so much that I was getting a bit tired of it (also physically, as my hands were starting to hurt). Now, I find I am really craving creating more visuals.
I know that the longer I wait with starting a project, the more expectations build up in my head, until it gets to the point where I won't start at all. Therefore, I have been spending some time making simple sketches/ drawings to get rid of these expectations (see example below).

Just being busy without really thinking too much about it is definitely making me more excited about the rest of the term and the next project, so I'd like to keep doing this at least for the week of 4/11.

An interesting topic that I recently came across is that of Morphic Resonance (dr. Rupert Sheldrake), the idea that each species has a collective memory. An example of this is that a crossword puzzle of the day becomes easier to solve later in the day (without looking up the answers...), because more people have already solved it. I am interested in the mind extending beyond the brain, especially if you'd say that memories don't exist within the brain but in the mind. Morphic resonance would also be a natural explanation for the impact of rituals, and why the past feels present during them (linked below is the source that I found especially interesting).
This theory is also quite visually appealing to me, so I might work with this during this term both in the studio time part and the conversations.

oct 7 book update
finished Just Kids (Patti Smith) and The Fellowship of the Ring (J.R.R. Tolkien)

sept 24 book update
finished The Haunting of Hill House (Shirley Jackson)

oct 31 book update
finished The Two Towers (J.R.R. Tolkien)

Before I can start crocheting, I first need a grid. Below there are a few examples of digital "sketches" I did.

Images of complex mineral skeletons, diatoms and radiolarions, as illustrated by Ernst Haeckel in the 19th century. These complex skeletons serve as evidence of morphic resonance, according to dr. Sheldrake. The images on the right are details.

From the crochet swatch I made, I estimate these details crocheted would be about 50cmx60cm or 60cmx60cm

It is a bit difficult for me to just imagine how this would look worked up, so I am thinking of just making the smallest one (which will still take quite a while, but I'm just very curious)

Grid version of a drawing I made without any visual references (I wanted to make something purposefully ugly so that there wouldn't be so much pressure to make it perfect, but in the end I kind of got attached to it oops)

Grid version of detail of Remedios Varo's Unsubmissive Plant (1961)

Cross-stitch tapestry my grandmother made when I was born. She made one for each of my cousins and sisters, all themed differently. I think it is funny that all of us ended up being specifically interested in the direction the "envisioned" for us (my sisters: pastry chef and biology, my cousins: engineering, medicine, languages)

Below are pictures of the 15/11 and 18/11 versions of the project. Personally, I actually prefer the earlier one on the left, as the one on the right seems too oblong. I will probably undo some rows, but not fully back to where it was before the weekend. Once it's at the right height, I will start on the border, for which I will research some vintage patterns. This is to visualise the idea of creating as a ritual to connect to the people that came before. I hope to finish this project before wednesday 20/11, so I can focus the rest of the term more on actual conversation, rather than ritual.